This was the third show I've performed my static trapeze in at the Circus Center. The easiest, in many ways, and certaily I felt the most confident about it this time.
And always grateful.
For the opportunities to perform, certainly.
But more for what trapeze has brought in to my life.
The confidence.
The desire to perform.
The satisfaction of learning new skills, of perfecting the challenging ones.
The fitness. I work damn hard to be able to do these things, but it's also so incredibly fulfilling. And I'm in better shape physically than I was 10 years ago... Probably even than 5 years ago. Or two years ago. And it made me take up running.
The people. The friends and acquaintances.
Circus family is just that... they bicker, they cheer, they have horrible breakups (I'm thinking of a partner-act or two...) But the support and the excitement for novice performers is pretty awesome, and the joy people express when you nail a trick you've been struggling with is heartfelt.
Along the way, I've made some very good friends. People who have shared hard times with me, people I laugh with and who have cried on my shoulder. People I have travelled with, in completely non-circus related journeys.
Trapeze has shifted a lot of the focus of my life, for better or for worse. Mostly for better. It eats up my evenings, sometimes my weekends. Some nights I'm tired and don't want to do my shoulder exercises, even though it's been 5+ years since the shoulder surgery that made it clear to me just how important this is to me. Some days it seems it would be easier to skip my time in the gym and go have a drink with friends. But it gives me so damn much in exchange for all the hours put in. So damn much.
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