another day, another year

It's been 10 days since I last posted, not quite what I meant to happen in this gratitude season. Although, as one lovely woman put it "I'm behind in posting my gratitudes, not feeling them."  Which is rather the whole point -- to take a minute, or several, and find the calming thanks in the day, in our lives.

So, there's a small slew of photos to come, representing some of the things that have made me grateful in the past two weeks.  Holiday lights, smooth travel, catching up with a friend I'm not sure I've seen in person in almost 15 years.  Free champagne.  Giggling with El Bandito.  The lakeshore on a morning run.  The lakeshore, from the other side, on a chilly afternoon with a dark snowstorm on the horizon.
They'll come, when I download them from devices or swipe them from El Bandito.  Or they won't, but I will have held those moments and their messages in my heart in gratitude. Either way.

And today?  Today I turned 40.

It was a good, and low-key birthday. Thoroughly spoiled by El Bandito and my sister, brother-in-law, and parents.  Given a perfect gift from the inlaws of donations to three charities I fully believe in.  Had a walk with El Bandito, lunch with my designated "best friend", dinner with the family.  A crazy workout sequence from my conditioning coach which let me hit my "40 for 40" goals (40 reps of each of a dozen exercises, in a flowing sequence repeated 10 times with recovery exercises inbetween).

It was a good day. It's been a good year, and I have no reason to believe 2013 will be any different. More adventures, together and apart.  More meals with friends and hikes and travel.

Somewhere I never imagined...

Titling this got Somewhere Over the Rainbow stuck in my head.

That's not entirely inappropriate.

I don't even have words for how grateful I am for trapeze and all that it has brought me.

El Bandito took this during the weekend's shows -- the lighting was bad (although there are some good photos and decent video).

If you'd asked me in college, I would have said there was no chance of my doing anything like this. Rock-climbing and kayaking were the limits of what I knew as extreme.

If you'd asked me in grad school, I was depressed and cranky. I would probably have snapped at you.

If you had asked me, even in the first few years after I discovered that ordinary people could try things at a circus school, if I'd ever perform, I probably would have laughed.

And then sometime in the last few years, I was willing to try it. Terrified, but anxious to move forward and do something, not just the physical challenge of it, but a mental/psychological one too.

Trapeze has given me a higher level of fitness than I ever expected, the chance to do extraordinary things on a random Sunday afternoon, and several of my closer friends.

And... I'm looking for more performance venues. (Don't worry, Bandito, I'm not quitting the day job...)

the big one

This post should have happened on Saturday, to coincide with El Bandito's birthday. So, reset your mental clocks -- it's Saturday! Whooo!

But my extreme gratitude for El Bandito doesn't really know about calendars. He deserves it each and every day.

This past year has been one where I've gotten to try new things, explore new worlds.
And through it all, he's been there, supporting, encouraging, beaming with pride.

Standing by the side of the course during my first half-marathon, slapping my hand in a high-five as I ran past, cheering me on as I crossed the finish.

When I said I wanted to go dance on walls at a local aerial dance studio weekend, he said "that sounds like something you'd really enjoy. go for it".

When I performed trapeze publicly for the first time (and then, months later, the 2nd, third and 4th times), he was watching from the audience. Proud of me for being there, for doing it. Taking photos and grinning at me.

When I decided this summer that I wanted to not go to a work-related conference but instead go to an aerial dance workshop  camping in the mountains that overlapped on the calendar, he approved.  He lent me his camera, and told me to come home with stories. That workshop might have been the longest we've gone without hearing each other's voice (or at least email) in the entirely of our 19 years together.  It was an incredible, amazing experience for me, made even sweeter by how happily he welcomed me home.

These are just some of the big things. This year's been so full, mostly in a wonderful way. Having El Bandito by my side, telling me to ahead and try? An amazing and awesome gift.

And then there are so many little things. The tasty dinners, the clean kitchen, the way he brings me coffee in the morning. The way he can make me laugh until I start wheezing. The inside jokes. The way we sometimes finish each other's sentences (although sometimes he also complains when I don't complete my sentence because I assume he can fill in the rest). The way he puts my shoes away, even when I've intentionally left them for easy access.

And for a lovely Saturday birthday brunch, followed by a stroll and tasty rice pudding on a chill gray December day.

Who knew we'd grow together so well?  From two young kids to now, it's been a turbulent ride.  Thank you, dearest husband. Happy Birthday. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: You rock my world. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.

gratitude, a mess of days

Because the last few days have been oh-so-busy. In good ways, but oh-so-busy.

And the point of this "gratitude blogging" isn't to make it a chore, but to take a few moments every day to think about the things I'm grateful for.

I've actually done that a lot in the last few days.  I've been doing a trapeze show this weekend -- fairly informal, a bit like a student recital rather than the themed show that we did in the spring.  It takes up time, but there's also a lot of "hurry up and wait", and blog posts don't get written during hurry up and wait. Instead, thoughts get filed.

So: Gratitude, day 13?
the easy run in the park I jammed into my schedule. I didn't have time. But I needed that hour where I breathed in and moved in an entirely different way. The air was crisp and the light slanted and beautiful.

Gratitude, day 14.  Watching a five-year-old girl perform a hand-balancing act with her father. It was adorable, and life-affirming, and it was a day that needed that.
The show we're doing is very kid-oriented, and it was just delightful to see the smiles and the laughter after the news.

neck hang

Last week, for the first time ever, I did neck hang on a hoop. Which is pretty much what it sounds like -- you hang with the back of your neck against/over the hoop (or bar, or rope loop, depending on your apparatus), with your head on one side and your body arched.

I've been working on this trick on trapeze for what seems like *forever*.  Last week, trying it on the hoop, it suddenly clicked, the way that the weight needs to be proportioned, where the hoop needs to be placed on the back of the neck, how to get into it, how to hold it.

Then, the next day, I did it on trapeze. Not a fluke.

This week, I repeated it on hoop. My coach told me to tell my husband I should get champagne. Ahem, Bandito, I see bubbly in my future, oui?

There is something so fundamentally satisfying about finally getting a trick I've been working on for such a long time. It felt like a gift.

real mail

A postcard from Singapore.
A Christmas card and holiday note (with *adorable* photos of my current favorite toddler) and her dads.

Most days, the post just contains bills and ads.  Getting too pieces of personal mail in one day? Pretty awesome.

In college, and in the early years of graduate school, I had friends with whom I corresponded. Letters. Actual missives on paper, though we also took advantage of emails.  I have boxes of those old letters stored away, though every few years I cull some.  We decorated the envelopes. we drew pictures and told stories, and... yeah, I miss getting such lovely things in the mail. It's not like I kept it up either though.

Every once in a while, I get inspired to send a postcard or two to distant friends.  And I'm ever so pleased and grateful when such things find their way into my mailbox.

unexpected creme brule

There's a "Creme Brule" cart in my city (and now they've got a truck, and a walk-up shop window).  It was a brilliant idea, and they seem to get enough business to keep 'em going and expand the business.

I wasn't expecting them to be there on a Sunday afternoon. So it was a delightful surprise to come down the block and spot them across the street.  Delicious.  And I love when simple errand running turns into a spontaneous little date.

So many awesome little things in my life.