recaps and head buckets

Monday. I ran. on the dreadmill. but ran nonetheless.
I hate the gym. Or maybe... I don't like the people in the gym. I'm sure they're all wonderful human beings (OK, maybe not), but there are too many of them in one place, competing for resources and attention and they are in my way. However, I like the aftereffects of going to the gym. Of pushing myself and feeling accomplished.

Tuesday was trapeze.
Wednesday I ran.
Today was more trapeze. It was a better night than Tuesday; on Tuesday everything felt hard. Even things I'd done a hundred times. A few things worked better than usual; my ability to hang upside down with my just feet hooked over the bar has improved greatly. But it felt hard. Tonight was ... no more successful, but didn't feel as challenging. Mental work, but more connection to it.

But looking at all that, it's no wonder my legs have felt leaden recently on my bike commute.


Speaking of bikes, I am vaguely in the market for another one. A road bike, to join my stable of mountain bike and heavy steel city commuter. So if anyone reading this has a recommendation for a good entry level road bike, let me know.

And on a vaguely related topic, can I just say how astounded I am at all the cyclists who don't wear helmets? I hate helmets - they're funny looking and all that. But I would never ride without one. I've had one minor concussion in my life. I don't need another. It's been on my mind with all the news coverage of Natasha Richardson's fall and subsequent death from an epidural bleed. I'm particularly aggravated when I see parents riding with their kids -- the kids are wearing helmets (which is a legal requirement in CA) and often the parents aren't. A) way to be a role model. B) who's going to care for the kids if you end up hospitalized or worse with a brain injury? It's especially upsetting when I see a helmet hanging from the handlebars, so it's clearly not an issue of not being able to afford one. Brain buckets. They save lives.

Ok. rant over.

comfort zone

I've been having trouble motivating to apply for jobs. Part of it is that the positions I've found to apply for are really not what I want to be doing long-term, except for the job I applied for in December. Unfortunately, I don't think I even got an interview with them -- they still hadn't completed their short list of candidates by mid-February, but I assume they must have at this juncture.

Some of what I want to do would be best done as a freelance/self-employment venture, but I don't have the paper credentials to make that work.

And some of my lack of motivation is comfort in my current position. I know it's ending, sooner rather than later, but it's been a good fit for me and I'm comfortable there.

It's time to step outside my comfort zone.

I realized, after 2.5 hours in the aerial gym last night, that's part of why trapeze is so important to me. Trapeze challenges my comfort zones. It expands them. It makes me face my fears (even rational ones, like "you want me to do what? rotate 180 degrees and let go of my hands?") and evaluate them.

And in a different way, I'm regaining my comfort on the trapeze. The apprehension and fear of "what if I hurt my shoulder again" has slowly dissipated. I don't think of it for most moves.

Get up. Adjust. Try again.

It's not just for trapeze.