Bad timing

I'm sure that everybody knows how much my body hates me
It lets me down most every time and makes me rash and hasty.

Those are lyrics from a Billy Bragg song that's been stuck in my head since the end of May. The context and the rest of the song don't fit, but the sensation that my body hates me? That does.

May was a whirlwind of wonderful events and great times -- two fabulous weddings in which I got to play integral roles, a play-off hockey game (even if my boys lost), a brief hit of summertime visiting family around one of the weddings. Catching up with friends, hiking, running, biking.

Then June rolled around. Also full of fun plans.

Three days before I was supposed to line up for Muddy Buddy, I got hit by a nasty upper-respiratory virus. Laryngitis, cough, fever -- I could hardly haul myself from one end of the apartment to the other, and I had to send the dreaded "I can't do this" email. I'd been looking forward to Muddy Buddy for almost 3 years. It was one of the markers for really moving on after the shoulder surgery of October 2007, and it also just plain sounded *fun*. I was incredibly disappointed even though I knew it was the right decision.

That virus affected my breathing for more than a month, triggering some ambiguous form of asthma. So at the beginning of July I ended up on inhaled steroids. They're helping.

Although it's hard to tell just how much they're helping since I can't do much to test my aerobic capacity right now. Just under a week ago, I missed a stair or somehow tripped going down the stairs (I'm still not sure exactly what happened) and sprained my ankle. It's not a bad sprain, although the bruising is spectacular, but it's worst with flexion.

Which means I can't run. I can hardly walk. I can't bike.

and worst of all? I can't do ankle catches. There are three of them in my trapeze act. My act which is in rough shape prior to auditons for the Circus Center showcase. The audition is July 25, so I have *no* idea at this point if I'm going to be ready. Those ankle catches are important transition points in the act, too, so I can't just skip them and I don't have the time to learn new choreography to elide them.

I'm frustrated and cranky. I *almost* wish the injury were worse, so that I had to come to terms with it and there wasn't a remote possibility.

It just seems like ... every time I plan something physical that can't be rescheduled? That I'm really looking forward to? My body sabotages it.

Which is nonsense -- I've taken a month of rock-climbing classes, done fabulous 10+ mile hikes and had terrific bike rides. I'm not over-trained. It's just a dose of bad timing.

and to quote another Billy Bragg song from my college years, also out of context, it's bad timing and me, we find a lot of things out that way.

I guess it's time that bad timing teaches me more patience.

But as I'm fond of saying, Patience is a Virtue, just not one of mine.

art vs. science

The Big Apple had an early spring this year. El Bandito and I spent a few days on the east coast visiting his family, and as many hours as possible walking through the city seeing everything in bloom. Tulips, dogwoods, daffodils, cherry trees, daisies -- there was a plethora of flora.

And we saw our friend's paintings hanging in a wonderful space full of light and books and people reading and talking. Our visit wasn't planned around the exhibit; it was a very happy coincidence.

I even got a short run in. I had hesitated taking my running gear for an extended weekend trip which I knew was going to be jam-packed with familial visiting and obligations; El Bandito is also a little paranoid about my safety and so I expected him to be reluctant for me to run in the streets of a bigger city. However, he supported my packing them, and I had a lovely, albeit short run one evening.

The title of this post isn't actually anything profound. Upon our return to the left coast, El Bandito and I had an extremely full day. Back to work, obviously, but then I met up with a friend for a foray through the members' only night at the art museum. After wandering through a maze of both art and floral design (the theme for the night), we sprinted to the house, met up with El Bandito, and went off to hear Neal DeGrasse Tyson in conversation. The man is both smart and articulate -- and I love astronomy; not enough to have pursued it as a career, but it's a whole lot of fun to hear about from smart people. Given that we were running from one event to the other, we were joking about it being a competition between art and science.

Sometimes I feel like we're busy living life at breakneck speed. So it was delightful to get a good portion of last weekend to spend just hanging out with El Bandito, with minimal plans. Particularly since yesterday was a fabulous wedding that definitely moved at supersonic pace. Very good friends of ours got married; I was given a lovely sterling dog tag engraved for my role as "Bride's Pitbull". There was a truly touching and quirky ceremony, followed by a reception that was just so very very them. Tea party picnic in the park, complete with pinata, a neat time-line concept, cupcakes, acrobatics by guests, and smiles all around.

Life is full of trapeze and running. In theory, I'm training for Muddy Buddy in June. I have a super strong suspicion, however, that my partner is going to bail on me -- I don't think I can find a replacement partner; the only people (I can think of) who might think running, biking, and doing an obstacle course with a mud pit at the end is an ideal way of spending an early Sunday morning are already doing other races or events that weekend. Alas. We'll see what happens. Either way, I'm enjoying the running and biking as "training"

rain makes applesauce

That's the title (and tagline) of a children's book that coloured my childhood.

I took an unintentional 6 mile walk today.
I'd intended to walk a few miles with a friend. Fortunately my day was flexible and I just stayed later at work to make up the time and finish things up. It was simply too beautiful not to walk all the way out to the ocean. Our readjusted plan still would have made that a reasonable lunchtime stroll -- we were just going to grab transit back. But public transit failed us -- the train was "broken" and they promised a shuttle bus "as soon as possible". We've heard such things before, being veterans of the local transit system, and just headed back up the hill. We'd made it more than halfway back before the bus passed us.

It was a striking weather contrast to the weekend. Sunday afternoon I had a date with a friend for a run. Both of us were adamant that we were going rain or shine, and we tested that out thoroughly -- it was a downpour a lot of the time we were out. My shoes were soaked within the first quarter mile. It was a lovely and fun run, punctuated by pullups and jumping jacks and random parcourse stations. I came home an hour later drenched but grinning. A vast improvement over the tired and cranky from before the run; we had wonderful guests over for dinner the previous night but stayed up talking and drinking until well past 3am.

I interrupt this post to say I have the BEST spouse ever!. El Bandito has been making dinner and just came dancing in and out of the doorway purely for my entertainment. He makes me laugh like no one else.

But giggling for 5 minutes has completely derailed my train of thought.

We went to another astronomy lecture last night; this one was on high-energy imaging of supernovae. In the Q&A after the talk, a young kid asked "isn't everything you've said really just guesses?" Great question. Welcome to science, kid. It's a lot of guesswork. A lot of "this is the best explanation we have come up with that fits the data we currently have". Handled with aplomb by the speaker, who basically said "Yes, of course. Keep up with your math and physics, and come help us make better guesses."

There's no real point to this post, other than to say, despite some frustrations, I really like my life.

Ten Things on a Tuesday

Today's post might just be brought to you by the letter T. But it might not.

Ten) No letter T here. I intended to write a post about snowshoeing in Yosemite. I didn't. Write the post, that is -- we did indeed spend an enjoyable weekend playing in the snow with friends and marveling at the views. However, I haven't located where El Bandito downloaded the photos, so I couldn't find one to add to this post. Perhaps I'll save it for a summer evening when we could all use a little ice.

sqrt(81)) Tofu. Oddly enough, this ties in to snow-shoeing. With all the snow around, I was hit by a memory of being snowed in while in college, stuck on campus when I lived off-campus. A friend of mine took pity on me and made me a tasty meal at her on-campus apartment. The food was good. The caring inherent in it was most of the memory. Despite the fact that I've eaten a lot of tofu in my life, I'd never had it done like she made it.

Serendipitously, she posted the recipe on her blog a few days after I thought of it.

And, surprising El Bandito greatly, I actually made it for lunch on Saturday. Why did that surprise El Bandito? Those of you who know me in person may be aware that I don't cook. I bake; I do make extravagant fancy desserts (not always baked). But I don't cook. It was quite tasty.

eight) I forget what eight was for.
(anyone?)

siete) Towel. Not that I needed further proof that El Bandito is among the world's very best spouses, but this evening I came home drenched from a sudden downpour in the middle of my run, and he met me at the door with a towel freshly heated in the dryer.

12/2) Temptation, Travel, and Teammates. Five years ago, I did the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer (which really ought to be against Breast Cancer, don't you think?). Last year, a woman I know from the internet did the 3-day walk with a group of fabulous-sounding teammates. She's encouraging me to join them this year. They're in Arizona, so traveling would be necessary. And probably problematic. It's tempting, nonetheless. It was a good experience to do the Avon Walk, but there was a lot of craziness surrounding it (we moved less than a week later, for example). I'd love to do something like this as part of a larger group. While I consider the possibility, y'all should go donate to her team: Team Bad Girls. It's a good cause.

V) Reading about polar exploration makes me cold. and angry about the waste we're laying to the environment. (Hmmm. Temperature and Temper?)

2^2) Trapeze. I've made it more than half-way through my countdown without mentioning trapeze? My act is progressing. Sometimes slowly and frustratingly, sometimes well. It's the performance part that is challenging. The Circus Center announced the dates for its annual "recreational student" (that'd be me!) showcase -- the last weekend in August. I damn well hope I'm ready by then.

3) Time-wasting. I gave in to the crack (aka FaceBook). So far, I haven't found it deeply compelling. Time will tell.

zwei) There are no particular Ts in this one. Just an acknowledgment that I like the letter Z, although ten items with Z would be even tougher than T.

and finally...

the last thing. Tent! Wish me good weather for the weekend. El Bandito and I (and possibly the friends with whom we snow-shoed) are heading car-camping and day-hiking on this upcoming weekend. I am very much looking forward to it.

internal teenage squeee!

Today, I got something in the mail that made my internal teenager squeal with delight. An autographed 8x10 photograph of
Tony Hawk. Professional Skateboarder, in case the name doesn't mean anything to you. Some people may dismiss skateboarding; it's certainly not a traditional sport, and somehow its appeal to 'tween and teen boys doesn't help its mainstream image. But I've had a long-standing thing for TH. and skateboarding, and frankly, skateboarders are intense athletes.

The Tony Hawk Foundation has helped build skateparks in low-income communities across the country. *Helped* build. One of their requirements for granting funds is that it be a community initiative. Their mission statement is worth reading.

In early January, I stumbled upon a link to www.skatewatts.org -- a fundraising effort to build a skatepark in Watts. The Tony Hawk Foundation was matching donations, and I threw a few dollars their way. (I also threw a lot of money towards more pressing social causes, but that's beside the point).

Today, I came home and found an unexpected thank-you gift in the mail. So I'm grinning.

_____________________________________

And yet, I still haven't answered 21c.mom's question from the comment on the last post.

Due to circumstances not worth explaining to my limited portion of the blogosphere, I ended up running my first "official" 5K (as an adult; I ran some as a kid) on about 2 hours of sleep. I still met my original goals, but not my revised (more ambitious) goal. And frankly, I could have pushed harder. So I'm a) generally pleased about the whole experience and will do it again, and b) completely irked with myself for not having pushed it just a bit harder. Next time. And I'm already looking at 10Ks for the not-too-distant future.

I gave myself the week following the 5K off from running. I donated blood, did pilates, took long walks with friends, and realized yet again that trapeze is easier when your legs aren't leaden.

Last night's 2-mile return to running might have been a little easier had I not hiked 6 fairly strenuous miles on Valentine's Day and then walked 6 miles before running the following day. But it felt good, regardless.

Now, off to do something more productive, or at least more physical, than sitting here *writing* about running.

prospects

prospect n.
(1)an extensive view
(2)a mental consideration
(3)a place that commands an extensive view
(4)the act of looking forward
(5)a mental picture of something to come
(6)something that is awaited or expected : possibility


No, this isn't a Superbowl post. I'm not a football fan by any stretch of the imagination. Hockey's my spectator sport of choice, at least when it comes to mainstream arena sports. I had a crush on Steve Yzerman of the Detroit Red Wings for the entirely of his playing career, and I don't think it will ever go away. That's not actually why I love watching the game, but it doesn't hurt. And Yzerman has been one of my heroes for about the same length of time, but that's a story for another day.

But I've been considering prospects.

Not romantic prospects; I'm extraordinarily lucky to have found El Bandito early in our lives and luckier still in that we've grown in complementary directions.

Job prospects (no immediate changes in sight). The position I took in May was certainly not my "dream job", although I'm no longer sure exactly what that is. There are many things I imagine doing, but most of them would require the circumstances of my life to be so different as to be unrecognizable, and I'm not willing to make those choices. Nonetheless, it's a job, which in this economy is a serious plus. There are many times when it's interesting and challenging, but I also feel underutilized.

Race prospects -- well, there is a little matter of a 5k on Sunday morning. I am taking 21cmom's advice and rethinking my goals. My goal was simply "run the whole thing", since the last time I ran anything official I was not yet old enough to drive. But frankly, I have been running enough over the last few years that that's a fairly achievable goal. So I've rethought my goals, considered her suggestion, and revised my time goal down. If it means I go out too fast and walk a few feet, no big deal.

Signing up for the 5k did exactly what I wanted it to; it helped me get out running more consistently. And, it convinced me that I am indeed doing Muddy Buddy this year. I've wanted to ever since I discovered it on Stronger's blog in 2007(?), but my shoulder wasn't ready in 2008 and I couldn't find a willing partner in 2009. 2010, however, is on the calendar. The San Jose race.

Other prospects? Certainly. Like anticipating how wonderful bed will be when I get there. My trapeze class tonight was hard work.

But even better than all of these, All Soul's Prospect.

As part of my 2010 goals, I'm trying to spend more time and energy envisioning and remembering the things which make me truly happy. This is one of them.

This is from our September hiking trip in the Canadian Rockies. Part of the "Alpine Circuit" above Lake O'Hara. We got snowed on. I grinned like an idiot. The view was amazing from this spot, the official All Soul's Prospect. The trail was a little difficult to locate at times. Although we stopped here, it was a short break, as it was too exposed to sit there long. The cairn at the prospect blocked some but not all of the wind,

a drizzly sunday

2010 has been off to a good start, albeit not exactly what we'd expected. And I'm a bad blogger -- there are things I meant to recount, to recap, both for the few friends who've found there way here and for my own recollections.

I just came in from my "long run" and realized it had been more than a month since I updated.

First? The friend I mentioned in my last post did reply to my email. And left me with a huge grin on my face when I read it, even though I still need to reply in turn.

We started off the year with El Bandito joining a group of internet friends for a 57mile bike ride. After not having ridden more than 25miles in a day for years.
On a fixed gear, no less. Crazy man.

I did a lovely solo hike that same afternoon. Saw a coyote a few feet from the trailhead. Dipped in and out of fog and sun and got a little bit muddy and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It had been far too long since I'd played on the trails by myself. I discovered I tend to move faster alone, which amused me.

January is flying past -- I looked at the calendar today and realized we've had 4 dinners (and one brunch) with friends, volunteered doing groundskeeping work at the zoo, gone to an astronomy lecture, and dealt with landlords and insurance inspections...

...and I've gone hiking thrice (once with a friend where we got thoroughly wet and yet laughed most of the drive home), spent hours on the trapeze, started a weekly pilates class, met friends for walks multiple times and lunch twice, and have done almost all my training runs for the 5K (one, my shoes were still in my luggage, 150miles away from my final destination. stupid airlines. the second one I missed because I decided an actual rest day might be a good idea, having had hard physical workouts for >8 days in a row). Signing up for the 5K worked, at least in as much as it has motivated me to actually get out and run.

But the biggest thing of 2010 so far was the addition of a new feline member of the household. Our delightful yet neurotic cat N. (never name a cat after a neurotic ballet dancer -- it's too predictive!) hadn't coped well as an only cat after our beloved gray gato died in October. He'd taken to screaming at us for attention, but frequently being unwilling or unable to calm down enough to accept it. He and our elderly girl hadn't really gotten along, but apparently her presence in the house helped keep him calm. So we'd been thinking of bringing in another cat -- we had looked a few times, but weren't ready.

I'm not sure I was ready yet.

But a friend rescued a kitten off the side of the freeway. Covered in grime and dirt. Gorgeous little orange tabby polydactyl, probably about 5 months old. Fearless and intrepid. He got a clean bill of health from the vet's office after a weekend of being quarantined in our bathroom (at one point, he fell or jumped straight into my shower. I'm not sure which of us was more startled; I scooped him up quickly enough that he never really got upset), and cat integration is going remarkably well. And N. is definitely calmer with a second cat in the house. Weird.


And on a completely different note: http://doctorswithoutborders.org/index.cfm
and http://photos.pih.org/home2.html

They do good work. Help them if you can.